What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 23:48
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Shameless vixen! Trollop!
TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
What kind of person makes you think "how come there are people like that"?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
The U.S. hasn’t seen a new confirmed human bird flu case in nearly 4 months — why? - Yahoo
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Do all you people that took the "jab" feel lied to yet?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
As an inmate did you have to live alongside a bully for your whole sentence?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …